End of Summer 2017

The leaves are changing in interior Alaska and it's getting chilly (in the 40's at night and the 50's during the day) - I can't believe fall is here! (Fairbanks has really quick seasons except for winter, which is 9 months long haha, so fall starts in August).

This pic is from our Anchorage trip a couple weekends ago - more on that in a sec!

Usually I try to keep this blog light and fun, but I feel like it would be incomplete without being real about the past few months. The second half of July (when I last posted) until now have been really hard. I've been dealing with some pretty bad insomnia and anxiety. It's mostly figured out now, but since about May I've been having an extremely hard time sleeping and my anxiety has been out of control. I'm a naturally anxious person but something about stopping breastfeeding upset my hormone balance and my anxiety became pretty severe. It got worse in mid-summer, to the point where I stopped sleeping, almost completely. I would get 2 or 3 hours of sleep per night, and was diagnosed with severe clinical insomnia.  In the process of figuring it out I was put on and off different medications to see if any would help. It was horrible. Fortunately that has passed for the most part, but I'm still being really cautious because my sleep isn't totally back to normal. Anxiety is something that I think I'll always deal with (I've been dealing with it since college) but 'mommy hormones' really take it to the next level. It's scary to feel so out of control of your body and emotions. I have never been more grateful for modern medicine and good doctors!

As much as Matt wanted to help, unfortunately he really wasn't able to - he's had a heavy workload since a few of his coworkers were on vacation and he was covering for them in addition to doing his own job, and pulling 14 hour days for a few weeks. But that's letting up now, too.

In the midst of all that, we scheduled a trip down to Anchorage to go to the temple. It's a 6 hour drive from our house,  and we planned on driving like usual. The trip started out great - we were ahead of schedule and had it perfectly lined up with Lydia's nap time so she'd sleep through the first few hours of driving. We were about 30 miles out of town when the whole car started shaking and making loud clunking noises. We were going up a steep hill when Matt stopped being able to accelerate. He slammed the pedal to the metal but we were slowing down fast. He made a quick u-turn (fortunately no one was coming toward us in the other lane) and was able to safely pull off the highway. I'm so glad he was able to keep his cool!! I immediately called AAA for a tow and they were there about an hour later. It was great to know help was on the way, but we were still on the side of the highway with Lydia for about an hour, in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. I kept thinking how grateful I was that it was summer, and not dark and freezing (like it is more than half of the year). We had limited cell reception and the car battery was dead so we didn't have A/C and couldn't even turn on our hazard lights. I was so glad when AAA came and towed us back to civilization.

A mechanic checked out our car and told us it was engine failure. My car that has seen me through the last seven years was totaled. I have SO many memories with that Rav4... my time at OSU, three years in Provo, Matt's and my entire marriage, a cross-country road trip in 2015, being hauled up to Alaska on a trailer, and two years of tough Alaskan driving including -40° temperatures. And we took Lydia home from the hospital in it!  That car was a trooper!! It was so, so hard to leave it unceremoniously in the maintenance lot, but a nice mechanic bought it from me and it sounds like he'll give it a second chance at life.

My trusty old 2006 Rav4 with over 130,000 miles on it, and just about as many memories.

The silver lining was that as a replacement, I got to buy my dream car. I've had my eye on a Hyundai Santa Fe ever since I drove it as a rental car in Sundance when I was there in February. It turns out that there were a few for sale in Fairbanks, so I was able to drive it home just a few days later. I bought a used 2017 and I LOVE it. It has bluetooth, back up cam, auto 4-wheel-drive, and a bunch of other things the Rav didn't, so it's definitely an upgrade. I'm looking forward to all the new memories that will be made in it. :)

It was a really unfortunate situation that turned out ok in the end.

Matt decided we should still make the trip to Anchorage that weekend, and booked us airplane tickets for the very next morning (the day after all the car trouble).

We left on Saturday morning and it was a quick flight. We even got to see Mt McKinley (Denali) out the window. :) (The tallest mountain in North America).

We got to Anchorage mid-morning and went to the temple. We took turns so we could watch Lydia, then saw Matt's aunt Megan and her family and did some shopping. 

I took her to Target and she LOVED it. :) (We don't have Target in Fairbanks and the closest one is 6 hours away, so I try to go every time we're in Anchorage. I miss it!)

We ended the day at Alyeska Resort to ride the arial tram. We had free passes and took Matt's cute cousin Rachael with us. :) Two people asked if she was our "oldest child" haha.

Lydia looking out the window at a dog - she LOVES dogs these days.

Mountains on one side...

...ocean on the other!

We hung out at the top for a while taking in the view.

And then enjoyed the view all the way back down again. :) 

We flew home the same night. Lydia did really well in the airport and through the long travel day. We brought her old bassinet stroller (from when she was a newborn) so she could lay down and sleep. It was perfect!

Our flight home was only 30 minutes long, and we got to see the midnight sunset when we landed back in Fairbanks! I'm loving that we're actually getting a couple hours of darkness now, even though it means winter is coming. :)

Midnight at Fairbanks International

For comparison this is what it looked like at 10pm a few nights ago -

And yes that is Barkley wearing a cone! A few days after our Anchorage trip I took him on a walk in the open space. He was off leash as usual, and when we got home I noticed that his leg was bleeding. I waited until the next day but there was no sign of improvement so I took him to the vet to be checked out. I thought for sure he'd need stitches, but fortunately not - just a cone! 

We were quite the spectacle walking back out: a stressed out dog in a cone, a baby who was saying "doggy!" to every dog in the lobby, and me haha - so grateful for the random guy who helped me get Barkley into his kennel in the car with his big cone on. And so grateful that day is over!! (It was one of the nights I'd gotten 2 hours of sleep).

As all of these events were happening, I was in the first few weeks of my new job. I'm working for a worksite wellness company as a content creator and account manager (part-time, working from home). It's a lot like the job I had in Provo, so it feels very familiar. I have babysitters come over every weekday afternoon for 2 or 3 hours and it's been wonderful. Especially on those days (weeks) when I was exhausted from insomnia and didn't know how I was going to get through the day, it was a huge relief to know that someone was coming to help and play with Lydia. My babysitters are seriously THE BEST. I love each of them. McKenzie, I hope it's ok that I'm including this picture. :)

So it's been quite an intense few weeks! 

It's been hard, but it hasn't been ALL bad. I have a bunch of pictures on my phone from happier moments and will end with them here. :)

The last picture we took in the Rav, as we were headed to Anchorage:

Lydia's first selfie (with a little help from Matt:)

This girl loves bath time!

Having fun with Dad on the plane. :) 

Enjoying the nice weather 

We love walks. :) Waving hi before a walk to the library!

Barkley swimming on one of our walks:

Hugging two stuffed animals at once (one of her favorite games right now is to pull everything out of her toy bin, all over the floor, and then play with her stuffed animals!)

Taking a little rest break from playing to suck her thumb and hold her blanket. :) These last a moment or two, and then she goes right back to her toys! Playing is hard work. ;) 

Another favorite activity is eating cheese! I have to ration her or she'll stuff all of it into her mouth at once. It's pretty funny!

Lydia loves talking! Her words right now are "hi," "cheese," and "doggy." This video of her talking and stuffing her mouth with cheese is probably my favorite, ever. :)

Wait, actually THIS is my favorite Lyd vid. (Ok it's a tie.)

Hanging out with Dad before bed:

Hanging out in the doctor's office lobby before an appointment (she's waving and saying hi:).

Fun at the library

One night Matt met us at the park after work to have dinner outside and enjoy the nice weather, surrounded by fall leaves.

Someone fell asleep while playing :)

Before, during (video), and after going to the indoor playground. :)

Totally exhausted!

Lately, every time Lydia sees an animal she says "doggy!" Here she is saying "doggy!" to a pretend bear. :) We'll have to work on that one.

Some things I've been cooking recently, including Sunday morning pancakes!

This

And these!

And this because it's getting cold.

Matt made a wildflower bouquet with flowers from around our neighborhood- I couldn't get over how beautiful it was!

It's been a summer we'll never forget!